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05 December 2007 @ 09:46 am
J2 Fic: Sometimes All You Need Is A Ghost… Or Three  
Title: Sometimes All You Need Is A Ghost… Or Three
Author: tinkabell007
Pairing: Jared/Jensen, with special appearances by some friends
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 8036
Warnings: RPS, graphic m/m sex, quite some angst, but also lots of schmoop.
Summary: In the broader sense, the idea of this story is based on “A Christmas Carol” by Charles Dickens. Jensen gets three visits… but will they change his life forever?
Disclaimer: Sadly, nothing’s mine.

Note: Okay, first of all, this is my first J2 fic like ever! Also, it’s the first time I’ve written m/m sex. This story is a Christmas present for faith_mars. She wished for a Top!Jensen story, first time. Sorry hun, for the life of it I couldn’t work the ‘first time’ part in, but it’s Top!Jensen and it’s Christmas, well sort of Christmas. Anyways, hope you like it :)

Huge “thank yous” to my lovely and awesome beta geminilove_ca . And also hugs to michaela3105 for her input *winks*


“Dude, would you quit it already?“ Jensen sighed, the plea in his voice slowly beginning to give way to annoyance. The whole day at work he had fucked up, flubbing nearly every second line. Kim finally dismissed both of them for the day, his face stoic and indifferent, but Jensen knew that he, to put it mildly, hadn’t been happy about Jensen’s less than professional performance. Hell, it wasn’t his fault. Nope, definitely not. Jared was the one to blame. Yes! And he just had to tell himself this fact a few million more times so that he’d start to believe it.

Jared groaned, his lips pressed tightly together. As if a hard day at work hadn’t been stressful enough, he had to deal with this as well. Okay, maybe “deal” was the wrong word to choose here, but he was tired and stressed out and the last thing he wanted was to get into another fight with Jensen; especially over this. But of course, as soon as they had gotten into the car, he couldn’t keep his mouth shut, couldn’t drop the topic of their fight that morning, and the day before and the day before yesterday. No, Jensen knew exactly who he was, everyone knew what kind of person Jared was. He hates keeping secrets, hates to reduce himself to someone who’s not allowed to show his affections towards a person he loves. And yet, here he was, acting as if nothing had changed over the last few months, when basically his whole world had been turned upside down by one mind-blowing kiss.

Everything was different now. Most obviously, he had dumped Sandy a few months back. Okay, again, “dumped” was maybe the wrong word. They had come to the conclusion that there was nothing left between them except a good and solid friendship. Besides, Sandy noted that she already knew about Jared’s true feelings and she was happy that the light of realization finally dawned on him as well.

And yet, here he was, months later, enlightened but still sitting in the dark. Stolen kisses when no one was looking, blow jobs between breaks or long winter nights with Jensen’s warm body wrapped around him. Sure, it felt awesome, but it wasn’t enough for him, not anymore. With every touch or every kiss the fact that soon they were back to ‘just being good friends’ – at least in public - was lurking, slowly crawling its way inside his head. So yes, even if he was tired, even if he was stressed out, let’s bring on another round of fighting because he knew exactly what he was fighting for.

“No, I will not,” Jared countered shortly, his voice already at the same level of annoyance as it was this morning. “We have to talk about this.”

“Aw… now look who’s the girl in this relationship,” Jensen huffed back, sitting upright in the passenger seat of Jared’s car. He kept looking outside the window, his eyes tiredly wandering over the passing buildings.

Jared let out a humourless laugh. “Relationship? Sure… and to what relationship are you referring exactly?”

“Y’know what I’m talkin’ about.”

“Sure do. And that’s exactly the problem here. I know it, and that’s it.”

“How often do I have say this? It ain’t easy for me, it’s…” Jensen started but was interrupted.

“What? And for me it is? Bein’ straight all my life and suddenly realizing I’m not?”

“Jay…” Jensen tried again, but the flood of his friend’s words were cutting him off.

“Or the fact that for months I had these feelings for you and I just didn’t know how to place them? Lying awake for nights, trying to figure out what’s going on? Why I’m feeling the way I do? Don’t you think life would be much easier if we just could be friends – never having realized what it was that made our friendship so special?” Jared paused rethinking his speech. “Don’t get me wrong, okay? I’m glad our friendship has progressed into something more and I wouldn’t want to miss a single second. But Jen,” he broke off, again, searching his mind for the best words; his voice drained from anger. “It’s just killing me to keep that all to myself, trapped inside.”

“Jar…” Jensen turned towards his friend… lover… boyfriend, his eyes most definitely not shimmering with tears, because hey, manly men don’t cry. “You have to give me some time here, man. I need to… I need to figure this out. You know how I feel, right? I wouldn’t have taken the initiative to kiss you first, if I wasn’t sure about my feelings. But…” Jensen turned his gaze away from Jared. He just couldn’t see him getting hurt. Hurt, by his words that were about to come. “But I’m not ready to proclaim my newfound love to the world, the press… or even my family.”

Jared gripped the steering wheel tighter. Here they were again, the point in their never ending fight where both of them made heartfelt speeches, expressing their point of views, but it always ended the same, always went down the same path. Jared would be disappointed that he still wasn’t able to scream it from the roof-tops that he was madly in love with his co-star and Jensen would be frustrated from the pressure Jared was placing on him. It was always the same, right down to the awesome and mind-blowing make-up sex they would be having in half-an-hour.

It always ended the same… except this time, it didn’t. They never saw the truck on their left run the red light; never noticed the driver hit the brakes, trying to avoid the worst case scenario. The only thing they felt was the tremendous impact as metal collided with metal, forcing its way through everything that even dared standing in its way.


Seconds… minutes… maybe even hours later Jensen’s eyes flickered. Dark and thick silence was surrounding him. He felt cold air nagging at his skin, creeping its way through every pore of his body right into his bones. His mind was clouded and his thoughts jumbled. He didn’t know what was wrong exactly, he just had this gigantic feeling in his gut that you get when you know that some event was about to happen - or in that case already had happened - that would change your life forever…. his life to be more specific.

Something had happened, something bad. He was on set, and then in Jared’s car and then…


He forced his eyes open, not convinced that he really wanted to know… see what had happened. The ice cold air rushed into his eyes, stabbing them like a thousand daggers so that he had to slam them shut again. Cursing, he blinked, giving his eyes time to acclimate.

Darkness. That’s all he saw. Black, devouring darkness.

This can’t be good.

Cautiously, he tried to move his arms and legs, expecting them to greet him with pain, but except a sore feeling covering his whole body, he felt no actual pain. That’s when he noticed something else - some very mild stitches digging in the palms of his hands.

Grass. He was lying in a field – or something close to it. He sat up and was rewarded with the view he had expected. He was in the middle of nowhere, knee-deep grass surrounding him, almost shielding him. The accident must have thrown him out of the car.

Accident!! The word echoed in his mind. Omg… Jared!!

Without another thought he jumped up, his eyes already in search mode. “Jared…!” He screamed, not as loud as he intended because halfway through his voice broke off. He wandered through the field cautiously not wanting to trip over something… or someone.

“Jared… man, say something!!!” He demanded, a thin line of desperation already scratching at the words.

Nothing. Absolutely nothing. No Jared, no crashed car. Just a big, fat nothing. As if the world has stopped moving and every natural rule had been suspended from its usual task.

By this time, Jensen was running, cold air pushing against his face, but failing to cool down his rising panic. He was glad that they had no early snow this year, otherwise it would have been way more difficult for him to move this quickly.

Finally, a street – or less a street and more a gravel road. But hey, that’s something. Some sort of road means that there is a destination, and a destination means civilization. He needed to find Jared, needed to get some help. It was almost like in that season two episode of Supernatural where they’d found this woman on the road, claiming she had an accident. But in the end it turned out that she’d been a ghost after all.

Jensen suddenly stopped dead in his tracks. A ghost. He was most definitely not a ghost, reliving the whole thing, with the one single exception that this was very real. Hell no, he ain’t a ghost! He doesn’t even believe in this stuff. Besides, if he really was a ghost, he sure as hell would be aware of it, right? Right??

“Nope, my friend, you’re definitely not a ghost.”

He suddenly heard a strange and yet familiar voice behind him. Shocked by the sudden noise that was finally cutting through the drowning silence that had accompanied him, he turned around. “What the…”

“Dude, chill, okay?” The man said, a broad grin dancing on his lips.

Jensen’s eyes grew wide, his mouth hanging slightly open as he stared disbelievingly at his opponent. Finally, his face changed from shock to awareness in the instant of a second, his shoulders slumping down in realization. “I’m dead, aren’t I?”

The other man just laughed as if this was the most ridiculous thing in the world – and, to be fair, it was… well, sort of. “And why exactly would you like to see my ugly face as the welcoming committee?”

Jensen thought it over for a second but finally agreed. “Right, very true.” He stepped closer to his friend. “Mike, thank God you’re here; there’s been an accident, we need to find Jared, he’s…” Jensen broke off, eyeing Mike suspiciously, as he started laughing again. “Dude, are you drunk?”

“Nope,” Mike answered, stepping towards him. “Not yet, at least.”

“Then what the hell are you laughing about?” Jensen demanded, his eyes already glittering with annoyance. “I told you, there’s been an accident and Jared is somewhere around here, we need to find him… I need to find him.”

“Don’t worry, Jared’s not here.”

“What? But…“ To say that Jensen was slightly confused would have been the understatement of the year; hell, even the whole fucking century. “So, he has already been found? That’s good, that’s…real good! He is okay, right?”

Mike didn’t really answer his question, just stepped even closer to his friend and laid a hand on his shoulder.

Jensen, bewildered by his friend’s reaction, just stared at him – at least for a few seconds as suddenly his eyes grew big. “No… just… no.” He stepped back, shaking the comforting hand off his shoulder. “I… no! Don’t tell me that…” He whispered, his words more breathed than spoken.

“Jen…” Mike started slowly. “Look around you.”

Jensen didn’t hear him the first time, his mind already lost in threads of thoughts and memories, so Mike started again, this time his words more forceful, finally getting through the flood of Jensen’s thoughts.

And Jensen did. He looked up, turned almost around himself and was about to yell at Mike when familiarity hit him. He’d already been here. Wherever “here” was.

Mike slung an arm around his friend’s shoulder. “Let’s walk a bit.”

Jensen’s mind was working overtime. What the hell was going on? What the hell is Mike doing here? But most of all, where is Jared?

He was forced out of his thoughts, as he suddenly heard voices. Lots of voices. And he saw some movement at the end of the road, which apparently wasn’t a dead end at all. It was more like a…

“Crossroad!” Jensen exclaimed as realization washed over him. Of course, now he recognized everything. The wide field of grass, the gravel roads. It was one of their outside locations from the previous season. Again, he wanted to turn to Mike, demanding what the flying fuck was going on as he heard the voice. The one single voice he needed to hear so desperately.

“Jared…” Jensen whispered, his focus back straight forward. “Thank God…” He was about to start running as he felt Mike’s grip on his shoulder. “Dude…”

“Just wait,” Mike ordered and just a second later Jensen went stiff under his touch. Jared was right in sight now… but so was he.

This can’t be real… it had to be a dream, what the hell was going on?!

All of a sudden Mike bursted out laughing, his arm falling off Jensen’s shoulder “Gotcha!!” He exclaimed between threads of laughter. “Dude, you should see your face; as if you’ve seen a ghost. Priceless!”

Jensen was completely lost. What freakin’ bizarro-world did he wake up in?!

Mike’s laughs grew quieter. “Dude, this is the best prank like… well, ever!! Who would have guessed that I could top your little dog-poo orgie you planted in my trailer?”

“So… this whole thing is just payback?” Jensen asked, not really focusing on the scene in front of him anymore.

“Uhm… no,” Mike answered, a tone of seriousness Jensen had no idea he was capable of having, in his voice. “Sorry, I got a bit carried away, I guess. Just… it was just the perfect opportunity to finally get back at you for your pranks and…”


“Chill…” Mike stepped away from his best friend. “Tadaaa… I’m your ghost of Christmas Past,” he grinned stupidly, with both of his thumbs pointed at himself.

Jensen stared for a second before he answered. “Dude, I have no idea who’s more drunk here. The only thing I’m very sure of is that there had been alcohol involved… a lot.”

Mike giggled, “Sorry dude, but I’m the real thing… well not real-real, because I’m just a ghost after all.” He scratched his forehead. “Well, you get the point! Besides that, everything’s real here. It only… well, it was real in the past.”

Jensen just looked at him as if Mike had grown a second, still very bald, head.

“And before you complain about the timeline, I know, it’s not really Christmastime as this little scene here took place… but oh well, first of all, this is exactly the scenario I needed to show you and secondly, it’s my trip here, so bugger off.”

“Hey…” Jensen raised his arms in defence. “Not saying a word here. Not even commenting on your decision to use British swear-words now.”

“But you’re not believing me either, are you?” Mike said, more a statement than a question.

“Nope, still holding on to my ‘we got very drunk’ theory.”

Mike rolled his eyes. Yes, that was truly his friend, never believing in anything that went slightly off his horizon of imagination. “Well, and how would you explain this in front of you?” He pointed at Jared and the other Jensen, both in their chairs, joking around.


“It’s not some drunk ‘I don’t know what I’m seeing’ adventure…” Mike paused. “Which is actually quite sad because, I guess, when you’re back in reality the living-me won’t even remember this,” he sighed. “What a waste of an awesome prank.”

Jensen ignored most of his words – as usual - focusing only on one thing. “So, I’m going back to normal? There’s still some sort of normal?”

“Sure there is. You do remember, don’t ya? Jared and you… well, being more than just friends,” he said, punching him slightly in the shoulder “Why the hell didn’t you guys say anything? Tom and I’ve been expecting this for quite some months now. We even have a bet running and…” He cut himself off and cleared his throat. “Well, that’s not the point right now, is it?” He grinned innocently.

“Tell me about the accident? Is Jared okay?”

“Sorry dude, I’m only here to show you the past.”

“The hell with the past. I already know the past, been there, done that. It’s called past for a reason.”

“And yet you’re still so clueless about certain things regarding your past… the past of the both of you.”

“There’s no past for Jared and me. At least not in the being-together-kind-of-way.”

“I know,” Mike confirmed. “But did you know that Jared had these feelings for quite a while?”

“Sure, he told me he was having them for a few months.”

Mike smiled knowingly, pointing towards Jared and Jensen from the past. “Well then, just watch what happened over a year ago.”

Jensen looked back at the two of them, observing but at the same time remembering every single word they had exchanged, relieving his past once more.


“Dude, told ya, that I’d kick your ass at this new Playstation game,” Jared triumphantly laughed loud and full of life. His whole body was shaking, and vivid eyes were sparkling brightly.

“Hey… not fair,” Jensen complained. “I wasn’t even able to do a test run before we jumped right into the game.”

“Aww… poor Jenny,” Jared mocked, shoving the older man’s shoulder. “Stop whining, it’s so unattractive.” He laughed even more, his hand still resting on Jensen’s arm. But Jensen didn’t notice as he was way too busy pouting like a four year old.


Jensen stepped closer, his eyes still resting on Jared, never letting him or his hand out of sight. And suddenly he saw it.


Jared reduced his roaring laughter to a broad grin, eyeing his co-star. His hand was still resting on his friend’s arm and suddenly his gaze changed. His features turned soft in a split of a second, his eyes warm and hearty, almost longing. His fingers were ever so slightly brushing over Jensen’s thick jacket not laying too much pressure into his touch to raise Jensen’s attention. Jared closed his eyes for a second, and even then everyone could see that his glance turned from longing to sad, just before he let go of Jensen completely.

Everyone could have seen. Everyone, except Jensen. He was totally clueless, way too busy stuffing the PS back into his pocket.

As soon as Jensen turned toward Jared again, he was already grinning like an idiot – as if nothing had happened, a perfect mask drawn on his face.


Jensen closed his eyes. “Oh God, all this time?” He turned towards Mike who just nodded slightly. “All this time and I had no idea. Never expected a thing… never noticed a difference in his behaviour towards me.”

“No, he never said a single word, never dreamed of the day that there would be that sort of feeling coming back from you.”

“This must have killed him inside. Being so close but never really being close?” Jensen sighed sadly, his eyes full of sympathy and pain.

Pain. He caused Jared so much pain and he wasn’t even aware of it. For him everything had been normal. They were friends… best friends, and that was it. It wasn’t until a few months ago Jensen finally had realized how he really felt about his best friend. The things Jared did for him, the way he looked at him. There was not another single person on earth, being there for him whenever he needed someone.

“I need to go back,” Jensen turned to Mike just to find the spot empty. “Mike?” He asked again as a loud noise made him flinch and then swing around.

“What now?” He asked annoyed as he noticed that he was no longer on the crossroad location but suddenly in the corridor of some house. No, not just some house, Jared’s new house.

“Mike? Fuck, what the hell is happening?”

“Oh please, don’t tell me you’ve never seen the legendary movie “Scrooged”?”


“Bill Murray….?” Tom asked incredulously, before shaking his head. “Oh Jen, you definitely need to watch this some time. It’s truly a classic.”

“I’ve seen the fucking movie, but…” Jensen sighed. “Wait, lemme, guess… I may present myself with the ghost of this year’s Christmas.” He waved at his friend, before curling his lips in irritation. All he wanted was to go home, fix things with Jared. But no, instead he kept hopping between time lines and hell, it was really starting to get on his nerves.

“Live and in flesh,” Tom smiled. “I hope Mike kept you entertained.”

“Fucker left me in the dark at first,” Jensen spat out. “I thought you ghost thingies should be more empathetic. You know, slowly easing me into the kind of new situation.”

“Yeah well,” Tom sighed. “The living version of Mike’s not any better so why would his ghost-version have more tact, or you know, any tact at all?”

“Whatever,” Jensen shrugged while looking around. “So, we are in Jared’s house.”

“Yes.” Tom answered and looked at Jensen who waited for him to continue. But, he didn’t.

“Sooo… uhm, quiz question here,” Jensen urged. “What are we doing here?”

“So far? Talking.”

“You think you’re so funny, aren’t ya?” Jensen let out another sigh while rubbing the bridge of his nose, impatience slowly building.

“Relax,” Tom tried to calm him down. “We are waiting. This is the reality where the two of you didn’t get into the accident with the truck. You’ll be home any second now. Just wait.”

Right on cue Jensen heard the front door slamming open and then quickly shut again, footsteps getting closer to them.

Jensen suddenly tensed and shot a questioning look towards Tom “Uhm, they’re heading right our way. Maybe we should hide or something?”

Tom just smiled “Silly, they can’t see us. Don’t worry. Just enjoy the show.”

“Show?” Jensen asked, irritated. “There’s going to be…” He broke off as Jared and his other self passed by them, entering the bedroom. “Oh…” Jensen breathed out, before he decided to follow them timidly. He shot a diffident look back at Tom.

“Don’t worry, definitely not going in there. I have no need to see that,” Tom joked before he continued. “Be glad that I’m not Mike. Guess, he would‘ve taped the whole damn thing.”

Jensen just rolled his eyes but laughed, already picturing Mike selling very special copies on Ebay. Slowly, he approached the bedroom door, his and Jared’s voices growing louder. It seemed that they had stopped fighting and entered a way more entertaining communication path.

Cautiously, he pushed the door open and peeked in. He had no idea why the ghost wanted to show him this, because hell, he already knew what was about to happen. But who was he to pass on something like that?


“God, you are so gorgeous,” Jensen muttered, his head nestled in the crook of Jared’s neck, while his tongue was licking, almost teasingly, its way slowly down the shoulder.

Jared was already shirtless, his tanned chest pressed tightly against Jensen’s. With every so slight movement he could feel his muscles, the tightness of his skin rubbing against his shirt. God, he needed to feel him skin on skin, needed to drown in the warmth and comfort Jared was radiating.

As if Jared had read his mind, he grabbed Jensen at his hips, tugging the shirt out of his jeans and letting his hands dance over the bare chest, slowly pulling the shirt upwards.

Jensen’s moans grew loader as he felt Jared’s searching hands on his already heated skin. So warm and soft. Simply perfect. A wave of need was washing over his body and his erection was already pressing hard, almost painfully, against his jeans.

With a sudden jerk, Jared removed the shirt completely, dropping it carelessly on the edge of the bed.

“Jen,” he breathed, as he grabbed the back of Jensen’s head with one hand, forcing their mouths together in a passionate kiss. As their tongues met, both men moaned in synchronisation, urging them on even more.

Jensen slowly walked Jared backwards until his knees hit the end of the bed.

Unwillingly he let go of Jared’s lips. “Lay down,” he whispered softly in Jared’s ear before he caught his gaze.

As their eyes met, both men were flooded with such a strong affection and love for each other. But right now neither of them was able to form coherent words to express their feelings. The only language they had left was lying in their caring touches.

It seemed that time had slowed, the outside world completely shielded, and the only thing that mattered was the two of them, here, in Jared’s bedroom.

Jared did as he was told, never leaving Jensen’s eyes as he slowly settled down on the bed, propped up on his elbows, his legs dangling off the edge.

Jensen smiled confident as he saw the huge bulge pressing up Jared’s jeans. “Someone’s a bit excited here.”

“Mhhhh…” Jared answered, his eyes wandering off to Jensen’s own erection. “Guess, I’m not the only one,” he grinned seductively.

Jensen dropped down to his knees, grabbing both of Jared’s legs and with no further warning he pulled him even more to the edge, both of Jared’s legs now settled on either side of him.

Jared gasped with the unexpected move on Jensen’s part, but it quickly turned into whimpers the instant Jensen unbuttoned his jeans and teasingly undid his fly. His cock popped out, happy of finally being freed from the unnecessary pain.

“Uh, no underwear,” Jensen noted, as he pulled the jeans off completely. “Me like.”

Now, Jared was lying there, fully naked and radiating with need. His eyes were half closed, impatiently waiting for Jensen’s touch.

And who was Jensen to disappoint? He grabbed Jared’s cock with one hand and was instantly rewarded with a deep moan.

As slowly as possible, he let his hand slide all the way down, before he repeated the action. He felt Jared thrusting up, his body trembling, as he tried to make Jensen go faster.

“Uh… uh,” Jensen grinned. He just loved Jared’s almost pleading and begging face to make him come. He knew Jared needed him, needed him to get off. “Not that fast, tiger. Not on a time clock here.”

But Jensen wasn’t a sadist so he gave Jared what he was longing for.

His mouth closed over Jared’s shaft, precum instantly sticking to his tongue. He breathed in deeply and slowly slid down until Jared was completely buried inside his hot mouth. And this was definitely not an easy task to begin with as Jensen had learned over the last few months. Jared was definitely not your standard-equipped guy. Not that Jensen had any experience on that matter before, but God, he was so huge and perfect and it took him some time to figure out how to please Jared the most possible way. But he was a quick learner and as soon as he’d gained the talent of deep-throating, they entered a whole new world of blow-jobs.

“Oh God… so good!!” Jared slightly rotated his hips, still trying to press upwards and deeper into Jensen’s welcoming mouth. Both of Jensen’s hands were firmly placed on Jared’s hips, holding him down, not forcefully, but just enough to keep him in control of this little game. He loved it to make Jared come. To make him come while he was screaming his name, his face drawn to a mask of complete pleasure and longing for Jensen. God, he needed to see this face… now.

Jensen sped up his movements, every time making sure to take Jared fully in. With every swift the cock was crashing more forcefully into the back of Jensen’s mouth. He knew Jared was close, felt his orgasm building, his whole body already trembling.

He loosened his mouth, withdrawing the pressure on Jared’s cock before pulling up completely, his lips gracing the head, hardly making contact at all.

Jared grunted frustrated, his breath ragged and more than ready for orgasm.

Jensen smiled, his gaze settled on Jared, as he slammed his mouth down his cock again, adding additional pressure with his tongue while he slid down.

That definitely did the trick.

“Oh God… Jensen!!!” Jared screamed, his hands digging deeply into the blankets as an overwhelming firework slammed through his body. His hips were jerking unfocused, his ass pressed hard against the mattress.

Jensen’s eyes were glued to Jared’s face, taking in every so slight flicker of emotion. He swallowed heavily, practically sucking every precious drop out of Jared until there was nothing left.

He slowly popped Jared’s already softening dick out of his mouth. Jared’s eyes were still firmly shut, while he was riding out the aftershocks of his orgasm.

Jensen used this time to stand up, freeing his painful erection by pulling off his jeans as well. He crawled up Jared’s body, his skin merging with Jared’s glowing flesh.

As soon as Jared felt his lover’s weight on him, he pulled him up and close, resettling himself on the bed. Their mouths met in another fiercely battle. Jared could still taste himself as he pushed his tongue inside Jensen’s mouth, exploring every inch.

Their dicks were rubbing against each other and Jared was already hard again.

“Ready for the main attraction?” Jensen asked, his voice huskily and needy.

Jared didn’t answer. Instead, he rolled Jensen off him, and placed himself on one side so that Jensen could spoon him from behind. He heard Jensen reaching back to the nightstand, pulling open the first drawer where a couple of condoms and the lube were hidden away.

Seconds later – although it seemed like an eternity – he felt Jensen pressing up against his back. His whole body electrified every time Jensen touched him. He could have come right there.

Jensen covered his long finger with lube, before he circled Jared’s hole teasingly. Jared thrusted his ass back into Jensen’s touch, signalling he wanted to feel him inside.

The little hairs on his neck went straight up in excitement as Jensen entered him, one finger working a slow rhythm of stretching and preparing. Jensen planted open-mouthed and wet kisses all over Jared’s back, feeling his silken skin on his face.

“You have no idea what you do to me, Jar,” Jensen breathed out as he added a second finger, speeded up his movements. “But you’ll feel it very soon.”

Jared’s only response was another moan combined with the desperate plea to finally fill him up. The need to feel Jensen inside him, forever connected with his body, became nearly unbearable. If Jensen wouldn’t fuck him soon, Jared was sure he’d explode.

“That’s what you need, don’t you,” Jensen groaned, pushing a third finger in, aroused from the control he was holding over Jared “Tell me, Jay… is that what you need?”

“Yes,” he answered promptly, is voice huskily.

“You want me to be buried inside you, all of me, make you scream?”

“God, yes!”

“Good,” Jensen breathed, removing his fingers. He quickly rolled the condom over his throbbing dick before he carefully positioned himself, the head already tickling teasingly at Jared’s entrance. With no other warning Jensen pushed in, eliciting a surprised cry from Jared.

He went slow but steady.

“Not freaking fragile here,” Jared complained, clearly not happy with Jensen’s careful thrusts.

Usually, Jensen would draw back completely, letting Jared beg to fuck him, but he was already so close that he obeyed Jared’s complaint and went faster.

A short sharp pain shot through Jared’s body but it quickly turned into pleasure, fogging his mind. With every thrust, Jensen laid more force into it, hitting this special point he knew that made Jared crazy. Over the last few months they had lots of sex in lots of different positions, both exploring each other’s bodies and preferences, so he knew exactly which movements would make Jared lose it.

Jensen grunted as he grabbed Jared’s hip with one hand pulling him back with every thrust. His fingers were digging into Jared’s flesh, leaving white little fingerprints on him.

His other hand went up to Jared’s shaggy hair, grapping his head, pulling it back. Not too forceful, but still demanding. He licked at Jared’s neck, sucking once again at the special spot.

“Jen…” Jared drowned in Jensen’s touch, grabbing his own dick and stroking roughly.

That’s all Jensen needed to hear. The feeling that there was a person in his life who let his guard down, showing Jensen his most vulnerable side and trusting him completely was simply overwhelming… and so fucking hot.

His body tensed as the orgasm hit him hard, he bit down on Jared’s shoulder, almost drawing blood; his toes curling up painfully. His dick was jerking uncontrollably inside Jared, wanting to fill him up with his cum, but the thin rubber barrier kept him from his goal.

Jensen’s bite was the key and Jared promptly followed him over the edge, spilling his juice all over his own hand.

Both men breathed heavily, riding out their orgasms.

“God, that was so awesome.” Jared finally found his speech first as he felt Jensen kissing his bite mark softly in response.

The both of them laid there for a few minutes, their bodies already cooling. Jensen reluctantly pulled out of Jared and grabbed his T-shirt.

Jared rolled over so that he was facing his lover again. Jensen cleaned the both of them up quickly, before he threw the T-shirt off the bed.

“Guess you won’t be wearing this again,” Jared chuckled as he pulled Jensen closer until his head was firmly placed on his chest.

“Mhhh…” was the only response Jensen could give him, his eyes shut, his whole body already drifting off to dreamland. His right arm was loosely thrown over Jared’s bare torso.

Jared smiled down at him, before he grabbed a blanket and pulled it over the both of them.


Jensen smiled as he watched the two of them lying in bed, so content and happy. “Yeah, nothing new here,“ he said, wondering why Tom would show him this little NC-17 display.

But then, again, he noticed Jared’s look.


Jared was watching Jensen, his eyes still open and his gaze sad, almost despairingly.

“Why are you so afraid of being with me? I wanna show the world how proud I am that I found such an amazing and perfect partner in my life,” Jared only whispered, sure of the fact that Jensen was already asleep and not able to hear his words.

“I love you so damn much.” Jared planted a soft kiss on Jensen’s head, before he snuggled closer, slowly allowing sleep to wash over him as well.


Okay… that Jensen definitely didn’t know.

He almost flew out the bedroom door, tripping over his own feet; Jared’s sad and desperate face burned forever in his mind. His breathed hitched as he almost collided with Tom.

“You knew, didn’t you? You knew and that’s why you showed me this.”

“You needed to see that, Jensen,” Tom replied, his tone soft and comforting.

“How long?” He asked and immediately repeated himself “How long?”

“A few weeks.”

“God, he never said…” Jensen stopped, closing his eyes. “He tried to tell me. In his own dorky way he tried to tell me how he was feeling about us. But it always ended in a fight and then in lots of making up. But I never thought… never guessed that he…he thought that I was what? Ashamed to admit that I’m in a relationship with my best friend?”

Before Tom could get a word in, Jensen was already running down the stairs, heading for the front door. He needed fresh air, his body practically screamed for more oxygen.

With one forceful grasp, he swung the door open and prepared himself to run down the few steps to the walkway. Except that there were no steps. There wasn’t even a house anymore. All he saw was another wide field… and lots of gravestones.

Jensen held his breath as his eyes swept over the scenery in front of him.

“Hello, Jensen,” He heard a very familiar voice on his right side.

“Steve,” Jensen breathed out, not even looking into his direction, not able to force his gaze away from the headstones. His heart was still racing from the news he’d just learned, his mind still running in overtime - again.

“So, I guess I don’t need to explain where we are.” Steve slowly made his way towards his friend.

Jensen was standing there as if he was glued to the spot. “So, this is the future?” For the first time since he entered – or let’s say - was forced into the cemetery he looked towards his friend, eyes questioning and pleading to tell him that he was wrong.

But, of course, he wasn’t wrong. Steve nodded.

“How far?” Jensen asked but Steve remained silent. “What year is it?” Jensen asked his friend again.

“Next year.”

“No…” Jensen closed his eyes. “So, in about a year from now I’m supposed to be dead?”

Again, Steve was silent while Jensen muttered something about Mike and whenever he needed chatty Mike that he wasn’t around. Steve must have felt Jensen’s discomfort. But instead of providing him with an answer he simply said “Come on, I’ll show you.”

Both men, or at least man and very real ghost, made their way through the cemetery. Not a single syllable was exchanged. They both were just wrapped in the darkness of the night, a slight chilly breeze nibbling on their skin. Well, at least on Jensen’s because as much as real ghosty Steve here looked like, he didn’t figure he would be bothered by any natural influence.

Suddenly, Steve laid a hand on Jensen’s arm, stopping him just in front of a grave. “Jensen, before you…” Steve started to explain, trying gently to prepare his friend for the situation to come. But he didn’t get to it, because Jensen’s eyes were already glued to the name carved forever in stone.

Jensen’s mouth gapped open in shock. As they made their way through the cemetery, he prepared himself for reading his name, that he would be the one burried six feet under in about a year. But without a doubt he wasn’t prepared for this.

Jared Tristan Padalecki
1982 – 2008
Beloved Son – Devoted Friend
May the angels take care of him now

He tried to speak, literally forced his mouth to form some words, any words. He wanted… no, he needed to ask Steve all the questions which were filling up his mind, but he wasn’t able to. The only things he really felt where the stabbing pain almost cracking open his chest and his legs suddenly weakening.

His knees hit the soft grass, as his body finally gave in, admitting the lost battle. A single tear rolled down Jensen’s cheek, his eyes burning. He read the inscription over and over. It seemed that if only he would read it long enough the name would suddenly make itself disappear. But it didn’t. In about a year Jared was supposed to be dead and he would be left alone.

Steve laid a hand on Jensen’s shoulder, squeezing it softly, providing him with comfort. “I’m sorry, Jensen. Please remember, this hasn’t happened yet. There’s still time to change the future.”

“How?” Finally Jensen found his speech again. It wasn’t much and the word was more hot air pressed out, but it was something.

“I can’t tell you that. I’m not holding the answers to your questions. The only thing I can do is show you the path. But you are the only one who can tread it.”

“What happened?” Jensen stood up, rubbing the wet spots off his cheeks. “I need to know what happened!”

“The two of you were continuing your usual game. Secret meetings and stolen kisses. No one was supposed to know until some day a sneaky paparazzi got a blurry picture of the two of you kissing. Everything went downhill from there,” Steve stated.

Jensen felt anger rising. “So, we came out?” He wasn’t angry about the possibility that they gave in and came out after all, but he was angry about those stupid ass-faces of paparazzi.

“No… you still weren’t ready so the both of you denied the whole thing. Jared wasn’t happy about it, but he tried to give you space and understanding. Still, the fights continued and it slowly not only destroyed the special bond you had, the friendship the both of you shared, but also the chemistry of the show.”

“It’s all my fault,” Jensen whispered, more to himself than to Steve.

“No, it isn’t.” Steve gave him a small smile. “It was the both of you. Jared was too pushy about you finally coming out and you were too afraid. You guys tried to talk about it, but it always ended in a fight or sex, postponing the real topic week after week, month after month.”

“Jared finally told you that he couldn’t take it any longer. Couldn’t lie to his family and friends.”

“So, he broke it off?”

“No, of course not. You know that he could never do that. He loves you way too much. But the situation was killing him and he said that he, at least, needed to tell his family and some close friends. He needed to tell them about himself and the newfound love in his life.”

“And he did?” Jensen asked.

“He never got to it. On his way to the airport, paparazzi were chasing him again. Ever since the ominous picture they were on your guy’s tail, trying to get the… you know, money-shot. They followed him because they thought he maybe was on his way to you, or something like that. Jared got annoyed and tried to shake them off. That’s when he lost control of his car and crashed into a tree.”

“God… Jared,” Jensen’s eyes wandered off. Even if that hasn’t happened yet, the sheer thought of loosing Jared was scaring him to the bone.

“Paramedics arrived fast, because the paparazzi called them immediately; of course after they got their pictures,” Steve added cynical while shaking his head. “Jared was in bad shape, he never made it to the hospital.”

Jensen was lost in his thoughts, picturing the whole scene in his head. The fear and pain Jared must have felt, the loneliness.

“It’s time”. Steve suddenly said, stepping towards Jensen. Before he could even asked ‘Time for what?’ Steve already had his hands around Jensen’s neck, pressing hard.

“Steve…” Jensen coughed, trying to free himself as the sudden lack of oxygen was already weakening him. His heart started to race in an irregular beat, his body heated up. “What are you doing,” he tried to say, his eyes all wide and watering, but the words were nothing else than a hot breath, forming a little cloud in the cold night air.

The last thing Jensen saw was Steve smiling warmly at him before complete darkness devoured him whole.



A steady noise.

A strange smell.

A flood of voices blending into each other.

But the first thing Jensen really noticed was a warm hand resting on his; a thumb gently brushing over his knuckles. He didn’t even need to look, because right the instant he knew to whom that hand belonged.

He slowly tried to move his fingers, reaching for the hand.

“Jar,” he breathed out, his voice shallow and thin.

He still had no idea where he was or if he was still somewhere trapped in some fucked-up ghost adventure. He only knew…only felt, that Jared was with him, and that was the only thing that really mattered.

Jensen’s eyes flickered and a brightness was welcoming him as he opened them cautiously. His gaze was blurry but he already could see a very familiar shadow towering over him.

“Jensen… Oh my God… Jensen!”

He heard the voice echoing in his ear and he smiled. His eyes were fully open now and his sight had cleared. And there it was, Jared’s beautiful face smiling down at him, a thousand emotions washing over it.

“Jensen, man,” Jared reached out, smoothly touching Jensen’s face. “Never scare me like this again, understood?”

“What happened?” Jensen asked, confusion thickening his words.

“We were in a car accident. Some truck ran a red light.”

“Oh…” was all Jensen said, before he added, “I’m back.” He whispered more to himself than Jared.

“Yes, yes you are,” Jared replied, unaware about the real truth laying in Jensen’s words. “I was so scared that I lost you, that I…”

“I love you,” Jensen interrupted him, carefully pulling himself up in a sitting position. In this reality, his body was aching all over, but still, before he could let allow the pain to consume him, he needed to get this out. His eyes never left Jared’s.

For a moment Jared was all shocked and shot a gaze towards Eric and Kim, standing on the other side of the bed, joined by the night nurse.

“Yeah… yeah, me too,” he smiled. “I guess the bump on your head was a little bit too much.” He tried to defuse Jensen’s slip.

Jensen followed Jared’s gaze before he settled his eyes back on his boyfriend. “Stop,” Jensen demanded, his jaw set, his eyes confident. “I mean, I. Love. You” He said, underlining every word. “And I’m not afraid anymore.” He shot Eric, Kim and the nurse a quick smile. “Everyone should know about us. I want that everyone knows about the one special person I was lucky enough to find in this world. The one person that makes me complete, that I trust more than anyone else.”

Jared’s mouth gapped open, his eyes burning holes in Jensen’s face.

“I don’t care what other people will say.” Jensen reached up and pulled Jared down until their faces were almost touching. “I love you and that’s all that really matters.”

Before Jared could say anything – not that he would have been able to after the overwhelming feeling that roved through his body after his boyfriend’s speech - Jensen closed the gap between their lips and Jared’s tender flesh met his.

Reaching up with both hands, he grabbed for Jared’s face, pulling him down even more. Their kiss was long and tenderly, full of love and devotion. It was sweet and freeing at the same time.

It was a new beginning. The beginning of a real relationship. No more secret meetings or kisses in the safe shadows of closed doors.

Jensen didn’t care if the world was ready for this. And to be honest, it didn’t even matter anymore, he didn’t even care.

He was ready and had everything he needed, everything he’d ever hoped for. And that was definitely worth more than any other thing in this damn world.

The End.

End Note: Thanks for reading, hope you enjoyed. :-)

sparklingrocks on December 5th, 2007 10:33 am (UTC)
I feel like having an aftershag cigarette, a hot chocolate and a shot of sth with a high percentage now.

This was utterly cute, hot and .. *le sigh*

I love the Scrooged theme, love that you chose Mike, Tom and Steve (Steve!!! ♥) and how you portrayed Jared's feelings. :D

I was glued to the screen the entire time. (I mean it, caught myself hovering like 5 cm in front of it. And I'm not far sighted *g*)

The imagination of one of the guys dying always gets to me (duh..), so when Jensen learned that Jared would die in a year - *sniffles*.

Don't smoke, can't have alcohol at work but will get me hot chocolate now to match warm fuzzy I have after reading this.

ckllckll on December 5th, 2007 10:59 am (UTC)
I'm in the middle reading and i think you did a terrific work!
Keep up!
(no subject) - tinkabell007 on December 5th, 2007 12:51 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - ckll on December 5th, 2007 01:00 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - tinkabell007 on December 5th, 2007 01:36 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - ckll on December 5th, 2007 01:45 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - tinkabell007 on December 5th, 2007 12:49 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - sparklingrocks on December 5th, 2007 02:58 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Marion: J²_christmasfaith_mars on December 5th, 2007 10:40 am (UTC)
*wipes away a few tears* God ... the things you do to me ... (okay, that so wasn't meant to sound dirty .... *lol*)

I LOVE YOU! That was perfect. I love this fic!

Not that fast, tiger

You have no idea how much I loved that Jensen called Jared tiger and not babe, baby or something else. That's my favorite nickname ever!!!!!!
Perfect present. I feel guilty though that you have to wait for yours. :(
tinkabell007: jared christmastinkabell007 on December 5th, 2007 12:56 pm (UTC)
*hands tissue*

Hun, I'm so glad you like the story. To say, that I was a BIT nervous about posting this would be truly an understatement. This story was quite a challenge, b/c, you know, first time for me to write J2... or at least write AND post it *g* So yeah, to hear that you really enjoyed it made me go all awww and giggly inside :)

Also, the "babe or baby" thing? It always "annoys" me to read it in this context. Don't get me wrong, the mockingly "aww, baby" or what so ever, is okay, but I think Jensen wouldn't call Jared baby (or vice verca) in a situation like this. So yeah, tiger is also one of my favorite nicknames while they are... you know... at it *g*
Joapieceofcake on December 5th, 2007 10:50 am (UTC)
Awww...thank you :-)
tinkabell007: jared - ny minutetinkabell007 on December 5th, 2007 12:57 pm (UTC)
No, thank YOU!!! :-) Glad you enjoyed!!
Wendy2sexyboys on December 5th, 2007 10:58 am (UTC)
Mikey, fun Christmas ghost Hot present sex presented by Tom and sad Steve showing the maybe future...Loved your version of Scrooge and the ending
tinkabell007: j2 - bunnytinkabell007 on December 5th, 2007 12:57 pm (UTC)
And I love you for leaving such a lovely and sweet feedback!! *hugs* Thank you!
Michaela: J2 (my manip)michaela3105 on December 5th, 2007 11:07 am (UTC)
I already told you how much I love this, it's absolutely amazing and I'm glad I could help you out a bit! You really should write more often because DAMN you have talent, you can't withhold this stuff from other people. It's too good to keep it all to yourselve ;-)
tinkabell007tinkabell007 on December 5th, 2007 01:03 pm (UTC)
you are so sweet :) Again, I'm more than happy that you liked it and felt the same way about it - especially the part we talked about.

Well, maybe you remember (okay, it's a huge maybe lol ) but I'm still writing at this very long J2 fic? I think since summer or something. But my idea was kind of "stolen" so I'm stuck and don't know if I should play this angle again.
(no subject) - michaela3105 on December 5th, 2007 02:04 pm (UTC) (Expand)
amandil12: (sn) j2 - jared wants to sayastudyinpanic on December 5th, 2007 11:09 am (UTC)
*squee* That was awesome, hun!!!! The angst, the schmoop... awwwwww!!!! Really loved it! =)
tinkabell007: J2tinkabell007 on December 5th, 2007 01:04 pm (UTC)
*squees with you* Thank YOU so very much for leaving such a sweet comment! Glad you enjoyed!
magsermagser on December 5th, 2007 02:13 pm (UTC)
Oh wow,that was gorgeous!!
tinkabell007: jared - ny minutetinkabell007 on December 6th, 2007 08:48 am (UTC)
Thank you very much, sweetie! Glad you enjoyed it :-)
deej1957deej1957 on December 5th, 2007 07:18 pm (UTC)
Fantastic story-- loved every word of it!
tinkabell007: jared - squeetinkabell007 on December 6th, 2007 08:49 am (UTC)
aw, you're very sweet! Thanks so much for reading and commenting! I'm so happy that you liked it :)
io_2: S&D kissingio_2 on December 5th, 2007 07:23 pm (UTC)
*grins* I really enjoyed reading this. And i was really going through the motions. *sniff sniff* Luckyly this had a happy end.
Oh and the N-17 display *hi hi* was very hot and yummy.

tinkabell007tinkabell007 on December 6th, 2007 08:51 am (UTC)
awww... *hands you tissue as well* Sorry that I made you cry, but of course I'd give them a happy ending! I'm a sucker for happy endings so it was a given :

Thank you so much for reading and I'm very happy that you've enjoyed it. Especially the NC17 part made me nervous, but gladly it turned out okay :)

bonbonschnecke: pic#68506423bonbonschnecke on December 5th, 2007 08:17 pm (UTC)
That was so cute. I nearly cryed my head of when I read this: "Jared Tristan Padalecki - 1982 – 2008 - Beloved Son – Devoted Friend -May the angels take care of him now"

Yu've done a great job writing this fic. Thank you.
tinkabell007: spn dean -hottinkabell007 on December 6th, 2007 08:53 am (UTC)
No, THANK YOU for reading and enjoying! Sorry that I made you cry :) But of course I'd give them a happy ending :) Glad you liked the story.
no matter what: simon said hugsanann on December 5th, 2007 08:20 pm (UTC)
I liked that a lot. It was really nice.
Thank you!
tinkabell007tinkabell007 on December 6th, 2007 08:53 am (UTC)
Thank YOU for reading! Glad you liked :-)
Ashleygeeky_ginger on December 5th, 2007 09:06 pm (UTC)
Awww! I loved that...Got such the soft spot for these kinds of stories!
tinkabell007: jared christmastinkabell007 on December 6th, 2007 08:54 am (UTC)
aw, thank you very much!! Glad to see that you loved it and enjoyed it :-)
first Floot to Bootjazziebhsluv09 on December 5th, 2007 09:31 pm (UTC)
oh wow.
left me speechless and breathless!
Absolutely wonderful!
I loved it!!!
tinkabell007: jared - skin sexytinkabell007 on December 6th, 2007 08:54 am (UTC)
*blushes* That's so cute, thank you very much for reading! So happy you loved it :-)
jelly babies to manual: 1 j2 thehighwaywoman on December 5th, 2007 09:41 pm (UTC)
Loved this. Loved this so much. *happy sigh*
tinkabell007: j2 - bunnytinkabell007 on December 6th, 2007 08:55 am (UTC)

Thank you!! You have no idea how happy I'm to see that ppl really like this story. Thanks so very much *happy sighs with you*
Shellztrueshellz on December 5th, 2007 09:53 pm (UTC)
that was awesome
and OMG the jared tombstone
you made me cry
tinkabell007tinkabell007 on December 6th, 2007 08:56 am (UTC)
Sorry that I made you cry, babe! But see? With the ending? I made up for it :)

Thank you so much for reading and I'm very glad you enjoyed it.